A Journey With Self...

Bowing down to all the amazing people in my life who supported me and gave me the opportunity to take this rejuvenating trip to Mexico.  And in case you didn’t realize, from all my posts sans familia; I went by myself, solo, solamente uno! Lol

Booking a trip for one was definitely an interesting feeling.  I was so excited but also a little nervous at the same time.   I had never went to a resort to stay, by myself.  Over the past few months, I had been feeling increasingly tired and like my body just couldn’t quite recover from the early mornings, late nights and my very packed daily schedule.  Being a wife, mother, yogi, studio owner, nutrition coach, blogger, friend and family member was definitely taking its toll on me.   I started to wonder if I was deficient in a vitamin, which seemed odd for someone who eats as healthy as I do but I knew I just wasn’t feeling quite like myself.  And yes, I knew I wasn’t pregnant for those of you thinking that! Haha I decided to take one morning off and sleep in.  Sleeping in for me means sleeping till 9:30am but that’s still a change from getting up at 7am or even earlier on my early days at the studio!  So I sleep till 9:30am and I wake up feeling different, like amazing different!  I felt rested, I felt energized and I felt strong!  And the light bulb went off.  I’m not deficient in any vitamins; I’m just deficient in sleep!    I had a baby 3 years ago, and then I had my studio baby 2 years ago.  I’m just exhausted from the go go go of the past few years and it’s finally catching up with me!
I had recently been looking ahead and was overwhelmed at the multitude of upcoming events in my life.  With this newfound realization that I just need some sleep, I decided I wanted to take a trip by myself!  Yes you read that right, alone!  I wanted a trip where I could do whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted, without having to worry about anyone else’s needs or wants.    I’m sure a lot of women reading this can relate to what I’m saying.  Even on our days off from work, we have houses to clean, meals to make, and lives to be organized.  There is always something to be done when we are home, but we also deserve a break once in a while!
I think as your children get older, taking a vacation with them can become a bit more relaxing but at this moment, with a three year old, even when we are away, it’s still constant go time.  There is no lounging by the pool to get a tan or reading that good fiction book.  I laugh when people give me book recommendations these days.  I’m like, "Do you think I have the chance to read a book in my leisure time?!"  The only reading I do is required reading to keep myself filled up as a yogi and a teacher but you can’t even do that when you’re on vacation with a three year old.  And then you have those big family function “vacations” where you’re more exhausted when you come home than you were when you left.  How many things can we cram into one day?  How many events do we have to go to?  How many fancy dresses and high heels do I need to pack?  Please don’t get me wrong, those are lovely memories and fun times shared but again, not so relaxing…   Packing for this trip on the other hand, consisted of bathing suits, flip flops, yoga clothes and palazzo pants for my evening dinners.
I was perfectly clear on what my mind and my body needed.  A trip where I could rest, I could do some writing, some reading and some straight up beaching!  I am proud of myself for claiming this time.  I think that as women, it can be hard for us to claim what we really, truly want.  Many of us live lives of concern for what others will think or we aim to please everyone around us so much that we often leave our own needs and wants for last.  Or maybe we just simply don’t think to ask for a day off from life!
I’m not saying that everyone will be as lucky as me to take a trip to another country for a few days of peace, nor does everyone need to.  But there are some simple things that you can do, right in your own city.  It could be as simple as ordering take out, or a trip to the spa, going to see a movie or a night in a local hotel just for you!  There’s nothing better than some cozy slippers, room service and a bed that you don’t have to make in the morning.
Whatever you choose, promise me that you will choose something.  Life is too short for us to feel exhausted all the time or like we are stuck on that hamster wheel and we can’t get off.  You CAN get off!  You just have to be willing to admit that you need to and that can often be the hardest part.
My heart is so full right now and I can’t wait to get back and see my amazing family and my rock star students.  But I am better for them all because of this trip.
Let me ask you a question.  When is the last time you sat and watched the sunset?  I sat for over one hour and just watched the sunset yesterday, every stage of it. I just watched and appreciated and it was breathtaking!  To think that that magnificence happens everyday, and we just miss it.  It just goes by because we are all so busy working and doing and planning…  I sat under the night sky and admired the moon and the stars.  I don't know when I last did that!  Nowhere to go, no one waiting for me, I took my time and admired their sparkle.
As I travel home, with another gorgeous sunset outside my window on the plane, I acknowledge that I won’t get to do this daily when I get back home.  We get into this silly business of “adulting” and gradually there’s just not as much time for the things we once loved.  Responsibilities and careers take over and sometimes we look back and wonder where the time is going?  So I challenge you to watch a sunset from start to finish or go stay in a hotel for a night or re-start your meditation practice.  Whatever it is, do something that is for you and only for you!  Because no one deserves it more than you do!